I’m feeling the Love. I know that it is a hackneyed term, today, but please note that I have capitalized the L in love. Maybe a better way to say it is that my awareness is heightened. Being so open to these signals of the more-than-we-can-see world not only brings this feeling of Love, but it leaves one open to all of the energy out there, including the wounded energy. Although that can feel chaotic, it seems worth it.
Open to All
When I am open, I must, by definition, be open to all. I am not that great at processing other people’s wounds if that person is just trying to shift his or her wounds to me. I am not sure that I will ever be good at that. And I hope I do not spend a whole lot of time shifting my wounds to others. But I can deal with the openness of another person, wounds and all, if that person is embracing his or her own wounds, not just trying to shift them.
Sometimes, our wounds commingle, I suppose. This is intimacy. Too often we reserve the word, intimacy, for a very special relationship, a one-of-a-kind or once-in-a-lifetime relationship, attaching the word to sexuality only. Yet, I think we do the word, the concept, intimacy, an injustice when we limited it like this.
First, I think all relationships are one-of-a-kind. We make them that. Our lives are about relationships as a friend of mine reminds me. What we make of those relationships is up to us.
Second, intimacy is too sacred to be reserved for just one person. I think it becomes mere gossip when we reserve intimacy for just one. Certainly we have only a few close friends, and in most cases one lover, with whom we can share our deepest selves. There just are special people in our lives, and that is good.
However, and thirdly, to cut off everyone else from our truest selves is unfair to ourselves, to others and to the Creator, to Love. To be open to and honest with others, to share our true selves with others is both invigorating and frightening.
Show the True Self
Yes, we all know the person who shares everything at the office. The phrase, “too much information” comes to mind. I am not talking about sharing our troubles with the latest hemorrhoid flare-up, or sharing last night’s dream with everyone. No, that is reserved for only a special few and sometimes, even in these cases, on a need-to-know basis.
We don’t need to tell everything or have sex with everyone to say that we practice intimacy. Instead, intimacy just requires that we be open. It requires that we not be afraid to show ourselves, wounds and all. It also requires that we listen to and see the other. In other words, just be with people. Don’t judge. Yes, this might be taken as a sign of weakness, especially for men in a culture where taking control and leading with force are worshiped. But, again, the rewards far outdistance the risks.
Crave to be Open
In the end, I find that most people crave to be known, crave to be open. Each person opens up at his or her own time and pace, of course, but in the end we all want to be open, we need intimacy. I think that this is the natural state of being. Be aware of your own time and pace for opening, and certainly be kind to others as they go at their paces.
So my advice to you (if you’re asking) is to redefine what intimacy means, let down the wall, and live the life that you are gifted to live.